Standards are the path forward.

Talent opens doors, but standards keep you moving. When motivation fades, standards remain. They guide your choices, shape your habits, and determine who you become. If you want different results, raise your standards. That’s how athletes grow. That’s how teams change. That’s how futures are built.

Athletes who experience the most growth aren’t always the most talented. They’re the most consistent. They hold themselves to a higher standard and have the discipline to honor it every day. Discipline shows up early. Discipline finishes reps. Discipline listens to coaching. Discipline stays focused when motivation fades. When standards and discipline work together, athletes build confidence, resilience, and belief — and those traits carry far beyond sports.

Preparation is the foundation — Standards are the structure.

Living above the line means taking ownership. It means showing up with effort, attitude, and accountability, even when it’s uncomfortable. That’s where real growth starts.

A Mindset Shift That Changed Everything

When I was younger, I remember constantly asking myself, “Why is this happening to me?” Every setback felt personal. Every tough loss or bad day felt like something working against me.

Growing up in foster care shaped me into a hard worker — it made me grow up fast. I learned early how to grind. But the unfortunate side of that was feeling like I always had something to prove. I put enormous pressure on myself because I was terrified of becoming another statistic — another foster care kid who couldn’t leave the system behind.

That pressure caused me to internalize everything. I took coaching personally, even when it was meant to help shape me. Corrections felt like criticism. Adversity felt unfair. As crazy as it sounds, I felt like everyone wanted to see me fail — and in a way, that fueled me.

But everything changed when I shifted the question.

Instead of why is this happening to me, I started saying, this is happening for me.

That mindset shift — paired with raising my standards — changed my life.

I stopped looking for excuses and started looking for growth. I stopped chasing validation and started chasing discipline. I learned that if I wanted different results, I had to become a different version of myself.

That one shift changed how I handled adversity. It taught me that struggles weren’t roadblocks — they were lessons. Pressure wasn’t punishment — it was preparing me for the moment. Every challenge became an opportunity to grow stronger, tougher, and more resilient. It shaped and sculpted me into something I didn’t even know I could become.

It also took maturity to realize something important: my circumstances didn’t define where I was going — they helped shape who I would become.

That perspective still drives how I approach sports, coaching, and life today.

For Athletes: Set the Standard

The best athletes don’t wait for motivation. They don’t rely on someone else to hold them accountable.

They set their own standard.

Decide who you’re going to be when it’s hard and believe me it will get hard. 

Show up early. Finish every rep. Take feedback without ego. Do the extra work when you’re tired. Compete in drills with intensity. Treat recovery like training. Hold yourself to effort even when no one is watching.

Living above the line means choosing discipline over excuses.

The standard isn’t perfection — it’s consistency.
Every day is a chance to get 1% better.

We dont work for high fives, We work for results.

This might be my favorite word-Delayed gratification is understanding that success comes from sacrificing comfort, having a willingness to suffer today for confidence tomorrow. Stop chasing compliments. Start chasing improvement. The work you put in when nobody’s watching is what shows up when everybody is.

Real growth happens in the unseen moments. The work you put in quietly is what shows up loudly on competition day. Afterall, results aren't built in comfort. 

 Understand Defeat Doesn’t Define You — It Shapes You

Tonight at the hometown wrestling duals, I watched one of our athletes suit up as a freshman for varsity. Unfortunately, he lost his match — but he went out there and wrestled tough, against a crazy tough opponent, a kid who had just won the biggest tournament in the state in my opinion. 

I know this athlete works hard because I've seen it day in and day out in the wrestling room.

After the dual, I watched him wear that loss like a badge that defined who he was. Walking down the hallway, we talked and I told him something that I believe deeply:

Always keep your head up and never let your opponent see you down. Never show them they beat you.  

I told him about a time, back when I was fighting MMA. I had trained for months for a single fight. I was undefeated and climbing the ranks in my cage fighting career.  I finally earned my first title shot. I trained hours and hours everyday, I game planned and I was prepared for that opportunity.

I was winning that fight, one the verge of knocking my opponent out and then in a split second, I went outside my plan. One mistake and there I was in a triangle choke.

Just like that — months of training, sweat, blood, and tears were gone in a matter of seconds in a fight I should have won.

That night, he got me.

I stood there in disbelief as they announced him the new lightweight champion. A million emotions hit me all at once — frustration, disappointment, and heartbreak. I shook his hand, wrapped the belt around his waist, and walked out of that octagon with my head held high. It hurt, but I refused to let that moment define me.

Was it hard? Absolutely.

 Losing a match doesn’t mean you lose who you are. It doesn’t erase your work. And it doesn’t define your future. You learn, you grow and you come back better the next time. 

Losses aren’t labels, they’re lessons. If you let defeat teach you instead of break you, it becomes fuel. Loss has the ability to light a fire that ignites your work ethic and fuels your drive to get better. But it also has the power to douse those flames and tear you down mentally. As an athlete and competitor — only you can decide which one you’re going to allow. You don’t get to control every outcome, but you do get to control your response. Let loss sharpen you, not shatter you. Learn from it. Grow from it. Then go back to work.

That’s living above the line.

Coaches: Help Build the Standard

Coaches don’t just teach skills. They shape culture.

I feel incredibly blessed at my kids’ wrestling club — not because we have a bunch of Division 1 coaches walking around, but because I get to coach alongside a group of men who show up every day with passion.

Guys who pour their hearts into a sport that gave so much to them. Don't get me wrong we have some well decorated coaches but ultimately their resumes didn't drive my decision when choosing the club we're at.  

These are guys who care. Who stay late. Who invest in kids. Who teach toughness, respect, and accountability.

That’s what builds programs.

Ultimately it was my belief in what they are trying to do, the type of men they are and the kind of people I want my kids growing up around that makes me proud to be apart of the club.

Your job as a coach is to help athletes build habits before pressure arrives. Teach them how to prepare, not just how to perform. Create environments where effort is praised, discipline is expected, and accountability is normal.

Don’t just demand excellence....model it... shout out to coach Robo and his 75 hard.

Standards matter, but relationships matter just as much. When kids know you care, they’ll push harder for you and for themselves. Be consistent with expectations. Be intentional with your culture. Praise effort and correct with purpose.

Great coaching isn’t about controlling outcomes — it’s about teaching ownership, resilience, and belief.

When athletes understand what the standard is — and why it matters — they start holding themselves to it.

At the end of the day, great programs and great athletes aren’t built on talent alone. They’re built on mindset, standards, and daily discipline.